Still on this merry-go-round...

Sorry for the lack of updates the last couple of days.  Emotions have been running high, and a blog full of curse words probably wouldn't be the best to read...

After all the go-around with being in labor, being told we'll have babies any time, all the NICU prep, among everything else... the doctors here don't see a need to keep me here in the hospital, so we're being discharged home tomorrow.... again.  This mama is not very happy... being 5 cm dilated, contractions 2-4 minutes apart, high-risk potentials... and I'm being sent home, two hours away from the Level III NICU at 29 weeks pregnant.   First question people are asking me:  Can't you demand to stay?  Nope... not when insurance has the upper hand... If they have no medical reason to keep me, and as my situation hasn't changed for three days, they have no reason to keep me.  They wanted me to stay local (because 'things can happen very fast'), but it's just not feasible for us to live in a hotel for who knows how long.  So, our only option is home.  Frustrating... especially when the last five days we've been filled with so many scary scenarios that could happen... and those scenarios are still very much real but now we're being sent away to deal with this on our own.  

Dr. Larson has been fully aware of what has been going on.  He's not happy, but all he can do is offer his support and expertise.... he has no push or pull when it comes to Mayo's policies or procedures. He's on call this weekend, which gives me a little peace of mind with going home.  If things change at any time over the weekend, I have his number, and he'll be at the hospital in Mankato waiting for me and getting the NICU team from Mayo flown to Mankato (apparently they do that!?!) and to transport me back to Rochester or, if the babies decide to come with no warning, the babies would be transported to Rochester... hopefully we're not in a snow storm?!? 

So, my days have been filled with endless anxiety and trying to come up with a game plan... but you "can't have a game plan since all of this is unpredictable... "

We're ecstatic that we're still pregnant!  Elated!  A week ago we were told we were having babies within hours... Now, we're sitting here wondering if, by the strength of our faith, we COULD make it close to term??  But, in the same breath, the stress and emotions that's coming with all of this is becoming exhausting.  We don't want to meet our babies quite yet, but my patience is really wearing thin some hours, just because we really don't know what the next hours can bring.  

So, in the meantime, I just keep watching the belly get bigger and keep counting our blessings as they come before us.  Like I said in my past blogs... and the plot thickens.... but at least we'll know the ending of this story... we'll have two little girls who are and will be loved sooo much by sooo many people!  

28 weeks 5 days

Happy Tuesday!
We're still here at Methodist Hospital.  Things have been going okay, some times more on edge than others, but the babies are still doing well, and seem to be content... for now.  I just wish this mama's body was strong enough to hold them in like a 'normal' pregnancy.

We had an anatomy ultrasound yesterday.  The babies are looking great, showing no distress (that's always a concern with long labor/ongoing contractions), and are measuring (approximately) 2 pounds 8 ounces and 2 pounds 14 ounces.

The doctors have been fantastic here.  Everyone seems to be on the same page with 'the plan' and they're very intuitive to me and with everything going on.  I was checked this morning, still dilated to 5.  I'm still having frequent contractions, but again, not significant enough to be changing my cervix... but in the same breath they make it clear that things could change at any time, and things could proceed fast.  We're hoping and praying things can stay like this as long as my body allows.

Yesterday we also got an 'official' tour of the labor and delivery unit and the Level II NICU, which is just down the hall from where labor and delivery is.  What an amazing facility!  Each baby has their own room with their name on the window. It was scary looking at everything, but yet a comfort to see how advanced technology is to be able to take care of these little miracles.

My leash is getting a tad looser today... a nurse is taking us to St. Mary's Hospital, just down the street, to tour the Level III NICU, which is where the twins will go if they are born before 30 weeks.  This is a privilege a lot of parents don't get to do, since a lot of preterm babies come without warning.  We're trying to prepare ourselves as much as possible, if that's even possible.

That's the update from the world of hospital living!

An unexpected turn

Hi everyone,
Quick update:  I'm back at Rochester Methodist Hospital.  I'm still pregnant, and somewhat stable.

Long update:
I had my appointment on Friday, and Dr. Larson noticed that my cervix had gone down significantly enough that he wanted to re-up my steroids for the babies' lungs.  I had the option of having this done in Mankato.  The way steroids shots work, they are administered 24 hours apart and takes 48 hours for the full effects to take place.  Dr. Larson did warn me that I most likely would be transferred to Rochester this weekend because of the condition and 'high-risk pregnancy' behind my name on my medical record.  I chose to just get ahead of the game and come right to Rochester for the steroid administration.

We got to Rochester around 6:00 on Friday (after a McDonald's stop).  I was put into an observation room and the doctor came in after awhile and she decided to do a dilation check, since I hadn't been checked since when I got discharged here on December 23rd.  She did the exam and she sighed and said, "You're not going to like what I'm about to say."  I, obviously always quick to open my mouth, I said,  "I'm dilated."  She shook her head said and said "5 centimeters.  We're going to have babies tonight"  I was a complete basket case.  She told me that there was no time for the steroid administration and barely any time for the magnesium to protect the babies' brains, but she kept reassuring me that everything will be okay and there are more 'fabulous' outcomes of 28 week births than not.  I've been preparing myself for this moment for weeks... and it was here, and I was a mess.  No matter how much preparation done, it never prepares you for the actual petrifying moment and hearing the words, "You're going to have extremely premature babies... tonight."

I got moved to a a labor and delivery room, and like before, teams of people kept filing in.  We had lab in to draw my blood, anesthesia come to talk over our options, the labor and delivery doctors, neonatology.... it's kind of a of haze now.  They did start the magnesium, hydration, and penicillin.... and I did get a shot of steroids. They told me that basically we were in a holding pattern until we reach 7-8 centimeters before we get rolled into the operating room for a c-section (too many potential complications to 28 weekers for a vaginal attempt).

I was monitored every 30 minutes to 1 hour Friday night.  I was checked for further dilation throughout the night, and nothing had changed.

Yesterday, all the doctors were still on edge with an impending delivery.  I've been having a lot of contractions, some up to 2 minutes apart, and as far as 7 minutes apart, and I've been having insane back pain.  They won't give me the 'good stuff' for pain anymore because I'm not in 'active labor' anymore.... just 'labor'.  So many intricate terms... but I really liked the good stuff when I was considered to be in 'active labor'.... I want to be as far away from 'active labor' as possible... but I had some good pain meds then!

We got to our second dose of steroids last night, which is HUGE.  The girls now have everything they need to have the best outcome when it comes to respiratory issues.  I also got the full dose of magnesium for protection against a potential brain bleed, which is also common in preemies.

Great news:  It's Sunday and they're still baking!!  I was checked this morning, and still dilated to 5.  Once again, my doctor is baffled, but they are very quick to say "It might to be two hours, it might be two weeks."  They don't know how long I've been dilated... if it happened over night or over the course of weeks.

Sorry for the overwhelming update.  The plot of this journey has thickened.  Any extra prayers would be welcome... especially for a healthy and successful delivery of these two precious girls.  We are at a great place who will take great care of them and are at the top the technology advancements to have successful outcomes of 28 weekers.

Thanks for the prayers everyone!  God is good and is working overtime!

28!!!

Hi everyone! 
28 weeks today!  Another week, another little sigh of relief.  It's hard to fathom that this rough road started seven weeks ago.  It's still incredible to me that we've made it this far... I almost pinched myself when the baby app on my phone gave me the 28 week notification this morning!

We had a measurement check on Wednesday.  Baby girl 'A' is measuring 2 pounds 6 ounces and baby girl 'B' is measuring 2 pounds 10 ounces.  These are obviously rough estimates, but they're definitely growing from our last measurements!  They're both still head down... hopefully they'll stay that way!   A lot of people have asked if the girls are identical, which the answer is no.  They are fraternal. They have separate amniotic sacs and their own placentas.  So, they could look the same, but they are not identical twins.  

Things are progressing pretty well otherwise.  My appetite is back and actually feels like it's doubled (almost back to the weight I was at seven weeks ago!). I swear my bladder is the size of a pea now, and SOMEONE keeps elbowing it in the night!  My legs have been cramping and my back is achey... and I don't mind any of it a bit because I still have two growing girls in there that are always so active!  I love putting music on my phone, putting the phone on my belly and seeing how long it takes for the phone to jump.  Nope... I don't have anything better to do!! 

If things stay the same at my appointment tomorrow, we're thinking of going to appointments twice a week.  We were planning on going off of the Procardia (for contractions) this week, but Dr. Larson decided to keep me on it with the mentality of not tampering with anything since things have been (shockingly) stable.  We'll see what tomorrow brings! 

That's the update for the week!  :-)

27 weeks!!

Hi everyone!  I'm still home and still have two little girls still content and staying put! 

Sick of reading the word 'stable' yet?  I'm not... things are still stable!  Things haven't gotten better but haven't gotten worse. 

I had my glucose test on Monday and got a big ol' 'F' on that!  Typically women have to do the three hour glucose test after failing the one hour, but Dr. Larson doesn't want me sitting in the lab for three hours so I got a glucometer thing, and I have to test my blood sugar twice a day.  Women pregnant with twins have 70% higher chance of having gestational diabetes.  I don't 'officially' have it, but we're monitoring the numbers. 

I am now the babies' punching bag.  Punching me in places that aren't the most pleasant.... bladder, ribs, other regions I won't mention... and I think one tries to take a jab at my spine once in awhile... and it's all awesome!  I'm trying to find little things like that and turning them into big things to make this pregnancy a little more enjoyable because even thru all this... pregnancy IS incredible and a complete gift. 

We're 27 weeks today... and doctors in Rochester, with all their facts  and stats, said I wouldn't make it past 24-25 weeks in my 'current state' (sense the sarcasm?). Once again, faith proves to be stronger than human knowledge... and that's been a hard thing to come to terms with... leaning on my faith more than human knowledge in times of complete uncertainty.  I haven't been the most optimistic person at times... basically feeling like a ticking time bomb.  We're further along than any doctor predicted! WOW!  Pure blessing! 

Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers.  As I've said before... we are beyond blessed to have SO much support and love surrounding us!! 

P.S.  If you haven't had enough to read, I came upon this blog post today and LOVED it... really hit home and put my stirring mind at a little bit of ease.    :-) 

http://borntobeabride.com/2015/01/09/they-shouldve-warned-me/

Staying Status Quo...

Happy Friday!

The one positive thing about this bed rest is that I didn't need to go ANYWHERE during the horrible weather we've been having here.... just lots of hoping and praying that I didn't need to get to the hospital!  But, watching the weather outside has been kind of depressing. I miss working, I miss my freedom, I miss my independence...I'm starting to hate daytime TV.   I just keep telling myself  this will all be worth it.  The sun is peaking through the windows today for the first time in over a week!!  

Anyway... today is 26 weeks and 1 day!!  My glucose test is on Monday!!  Weird thing to get excited about?  Probably... but this preggo is excited that I got far enough in a pregnancy that I get to chug that sugar crap that everyone complains about.

My appointment on Wednesday and today are still showing that things are stable.  I'm still having frequent contractions, some stronger than others, and now I'm having a lot of pressure and back aches... but Dr. Larson said everything is checking out okay on the physical exam that my symptoms aren't changing anything at this point. The girls are both head down and very low, which could also be a factor to all these funky feelings.  

I feel huge... I took my first 'selfie' the other day and that just confirmed that!  I won't be plastering this blog with pregnant selfies.  I'll maybe share one once the girls make their arrival.  :-)  I commented to Donny how up until this point I never understood the 'pregnant waddle'... I mean how hard could it be to stand up straight and walk normal?  I get it now... I caught myself doing 'the waddle' on the way to my appointment today...  Oh boy!  

That's all I got for now.  Here's a picture of my daily entertainment.  

Mini Update

Hi everyone!
Just thought I'd give a quick update... 25 weeks 4 days!  We had an appointment today again, and things are unchanged for the most part.  I'm showing signs of heading into the third trimester, but not enough change that I'll be readmitted unless I show signs of major changes.  The babies are sure active!  It's fun to lay and watch them punch and kick.

We had a busy weekend with visitors... it sure made time go fast!  My niece was able to visit, and the entertainment she provided was priceless! Look at this face!!

Other than that... I'm just laying around coloring, reading, and internet shopping.. and watching The Price is Right and all the other daytime TV shows that put my mind on autopilot.   :-)

Happy New Year!

It's 2015... I'm 25 weeks!!  It was a double celebration this morning. Twenty-five weeks sounded soooo far away at the beginning of the pregnancy. A month ago, it sounded impossible... and even last week I was having major doubts if we'd make it this far.  Here we are!  I celebrated by sleeping until 10 and having French toast sticks.  25 weeks is the week that physicians consider this great viability with less percentage of long-term issues.

Some random facts that I've learned through this journey:  Advancement in science and medicine over the last 10 years, when it comes to preterm birth, has improved so much that a 25-week gestation baby would have had a 40% chance of survival in 2000.  Today, survival at 25-week gestation is 82% and goes up throughout the week.  Between week 24 and 25, the babies chances of survival goes up 3-4% per day... between week 25 and 26, chances of survival goes up 2-3% per day.  Mayo loves stats... and I've been clinging onto this stat in my head for over a week.  That's why in my last blog I said that every day counts... every day is HUGE at this point.

We're obviously hoping to get as far as possible and well away from 25 weeks, but that one piece of information has put me at peace for almost two weeks... that's not to say it would be a bumpy road, or as Dr. Larson says, 'A bucking bronco'... but it's something that becomes a possible reality when  you're laying on a labor bed with a panel of seven physicians standing around you throwing out this information like they're reading from a flow chart of possibilities attached to their clipboard.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday and things appear to be 'stable'.  I'm getting more comfortable with that word... two weeks ago all I wanted to hear was 'improved'... I'll take stable now.  I'm still having frequent contractions, but they've proven to not be strong enough to start any active labor.  I'm still on Procardia, so we're assuming that is helping them tame down for the time being.

2014 was an awesome year, and we were so blessed and fortunate... but I'm okay with it being in the past now because we have A LOT to look forward to.  2015 is definitely going to test our strength, patience in others, our faith, and our marriage... and I'm SO ready to take it head on.  I was laying on the couch last night thinking how this will be our last quiet New Year Eve.  From here on out we'll have giggles, whining, and crying... and then in 16 years, nights of staying up worrying where the heck our children are at all hours of the night... It's all good.  I'll just need to come back and reread this blog post to keep myself from losing my marbles.

Thank you AGAIN to ALL of our friends and family who have been here for us offering anything and everything to help us get through this... Just the simple messages I get saying "Still praying for you!" make my day.  The love and selflessness of all of our friends and family is so humbling.  We are SO blessed!!!  I hope everyone had a great new years eve and have a happy and healthy New Year!

(Since it's New Years Day, AND Thursday (throwback Thursday)... here are some pictures from our 2014)