Farewell 2016!!

Hello!  
Happy New Years!  Two years ago tonight, I was working on a blog, and I think the feelings of that exact night will forever haunt me on this night for years and years to come... My words didn't reflect it in the blog, but I was terrified of the future.  I was terrified for the next day, the next weeks... for the next decade.  The fear of not knowing was consuming me, and I hid that so well, but the feelings won't ever go away... with that being said, I remember typing these words and today, these words were proven more than true.... " I was laying on the couch last night thinking how this will be our last quiet New Year Eve.  From here on out we'll have giggles, whining, and crying... "  I remember begging for this... to be able to have this... and now I do... and I had no idea how complete life would be with all of those giggles, whining, and crying...  Motherhood in 2016 has just been amazing... and frustrating... and exhausting... and fulfilling... and magical... 

ANYWAY.... SO, six months since my last post... whoops!  I think I'm done promising myself and anyone who is reading this that I will post more often. I just don't know where time is going.  Heck, I didn't even get Christmas cards sent out this year! So, I clearly fail at keeping everyone up to date... we'll just go with that.  No more promises of blogging every week, or month... but thank you for randomly checking back here just to be set up for disappointment yet again, only to find out that - WHOA! - there's a new blog this time!!

With that said, I don't think it would be a proper farewell to 2016 without some kind of update... But I have NO idea where to begin.  I have over 4,000 pictures from the year.  That's the only way I've been documenting.  SO, I'll post one picture from each month!

 January:  Donny's brother, Nick, got married to Liz which officially made the male/female ratio bend in our favor!  (Don is the oldest of four boys)... so it's time that the girls rule!

 February:  The girls turned ONE on February 12th.  It hard for me to process that a whole year had went by since that dramatic day of their birth.  We didn't do anything big for their birthDAY, but we dressed them up for daycare, they had a party there, and were spoiled and pampered all day.

 March:  We decided to have their first birthday party in March.  It was a beautiful warm day, and we had such a fun time with our families together.

 April:  Both of the girls got tubes placed in their ears.  They were getting multiple and recurring ear infections, and we thought by getting tubes, it would help their sleeping... NOT.  Gosh those robes were SO cute... and they were great patients!!

 May:  Mom had it with their hair!  They would NOT keep ponies in, and their bags were constantly in their eyes... we took them in for their first bang trim, and mom almost cried... I didn't quite expect their bangs to get that short... and that crooked... but, looking back at them now, they were still cute!

 June:  The girls found a LOVE for outside.  Donny and I both agreed that we wanted to raise kids who loves the outdoors, but I don't think that's requiring much effort on our part... these girls LOVE being outside.  Swinging, wagon riding, water table splashing, hose drinking, rock throwing... all they cared was that they were outside, and they would find their own entertainment.  This was also month that I really saw the girls take a 'liking' to each other.  I was starting to wonder if they would even 'bond' like twin moms talk about, and it was finally happening where they were laughing together, communicating, and playing... what a gift to watch unfold!

 July:  A lot of things were starting to unravel... (more on that below)... and with all of the impending changes in our family, we went to the extreme and 'sleep trained' the girls.  Prior to this, we would rock the girls to sleep, and Johnalyn was always awake again by 10:30... and she was SCREAM.  We would rocker her, feed her, sing to her... we were doing anything and everything...even co-sleeping wasn't working.  I had a hard time wrapping my head around letting the girls scream themselves to sleep.  We got a new pediatrician who finally sat down and listened to all of our concerns and issues.  She enlisted the pediatric social worker to help us.  She was a God send.  I met with her on a Wednesday.... we put a plan in place, and we had the girls sleeping thru the night by Monday.  It was gruesome... and I, to this day, would rather give birth five more times than to go through this again... but it worked.

 August:  Our first family vacation!!!  We went to Duluth for our annual family vacation.  We shared a suite with my sister and her family... sleeping was rough, but we managed.  I'm so excited to continue this tradition with the girls as they grow.

 

September:  Oh, hi there U-haul truck.  *sigh*  I'm sure you all know that we made a huge change this year.  A change that we hadn't really anticipated to happen so soon.  Donny's job at Alumacraft wasn't panning out how we had hoped.  We looked around Mankato for quite some time and nothing ever came to be.  The decision came that it was time to move back closer to Rochester.  Why Rochester?  A few reasons.  My family is from the area, we have close friends in the area, a great job opportunity came up for Donny in Winona, and I've worked for Mayo for 11 years, so transferring back to Rochester made sense.  We didn't make this decision lightly, but it made the most sense for our family.  We left so many great people behind, and a wonderful daycare and staff that we still miss dearly.

So, August and September were stressful months.  Donny was offered his job in Winona in July.  He began in August.  He 'lived' in Rochester Monday-Thursday.  The girls and I were still in Mankato.  We put our house on the market, we were scrambling to find something near Rochester, and I needed to find a job to transfer back to.  *deep breaths*  Well, we found a house in Eyota we loved.  It was on the market for 2 days.  We put an offer in contingent on the sale of our house.  Our house went on the market 4 days later.  Our house sold in three days.  THREE DAYS.  I was offered a job in the Center for Connected Care, and I accepted.  We moved out of our house and in with my parents the first week of September....

 October:  We moved into our new house the second week in October.  We LOVE our new house, but still making it ours.  I know it'll take awhile.  Things went SO fast, I'm still processing it some days.  The girls transitioned well into their new daycare, and found a love with the new staff. I'm still learning my new job on a daily basis, and getting used to the change of pace.

 Donny's parents were able to come see our new digs the end of October and were able to help the girls pick their first pumpkins!

November and December are, honestly, a blur.  We have been so busy getting settled in our new house, new routine, new life, that I don't feel like things will ever slow down.

The girls are doing amazingly well.  Developmentally, they are blowing us away.  They are talking in three-worded sentences (that we can understand).  They sing songs together, they love dancing with their daddy, and completely exhausting mommy and daddy.  Danika loves to color and is proving to us that she is the artsy one at this point.  Johnalyn has to have things in order... she likes to 'clean'....throw things in the garbage.  Both girls are obsessed with shoes and are proving to be completely independent by insisting on picking out their own socks and shoes every morning.

The girls have great humor and love to make people laugh... and eachother.  The are very in tune to eachother and makes sure eachother's needs are taken care of.  If Danika is sad, Johnalyn will say "Sissy sad" and bring Danika her blanket and pacifier.  We were, once again, incredibly blessed this year.  These girls bring so much joy and excitement into our lives, it's still hard for me to process the blog I wrote two years ago now that I can look back on it (New Years 2015).  Farewell 2016...   Here's to a more calm and organized 2017 in the Grunloh house!   HAHA!!!

Thy Will

This song... this video... these lyrics...this woman. I have NO words, but I feel the need to share this.

Thank you, Lord, for putting this in front me this week.  I needed this for many, many reasons... and maybe someone who is reading this needs these words too.



Thy will be done...

Life with Twins

Well, it's been almost a solid four months since my last post.  The blog has taken a complete back seat (or possibly the trunk) on my priority list.  I feel horrible because this was going to be my documentation of their milestones, something I (and the girls) can look back on.  It still is... for the first year... but everything has kind of derailed.  Mainly for one reason...and her name is Johnalyn.

You see, this sweet faced, gentle souled little girl hates sleep.  "It'll get better after a year" they say... We're 16 months in, and I'm still waiting!!  She has taken most of my sanity away.  I feel like we've tried everything to get this girl to sleep, and nothing seems to work.  SO, when she goes to sleep at 7:30-8:00 every night, I literally run to bed myself to get as much sleep as possible before she wakes up screaming.  She moans, she thrashes, she screams... she's a mad woman at night!  So, because of this, I've axed the blogging in my evenings and have opted to get a jump start on my 4-5 hours of chopped up sleep at night, so I can be at a functioning level during the day.

ANYWAY!

The girls are 16 months old.  WHAT?!?!

They're doing wonderful, they're happy babies (during the day) and they're constantly learning and exploring.

Danika:

Our little peanut is 18 lbs 15 oz, 2% on the 'charts' (I told her NOT to poop before her doctor appointment, and she failed to listen!).  She's 30 inches, 25% on the 'charts'.

Favorite words:  "Bye, Bye" (along with a parade wave).  "HI!" (along with a big smile and wave). "Mama"  "Dada"

She hasn't started walking on her own yet, but loves to push toys around... and boxes... or anything she can find to push.  She is our acrobat and has NO fear (like her dad).  She will slide head first down our stairs and laugh the whole way down.  She straddles the arm rest of our couch just to hang out or tries to reach for a bin that is within arms reach.  If anything can be climbed on or up, she'll try it.  She's quickly being labeled as our wild child, and has this very evil 'back of the throat' laugh when she knows she's being naughty... but that girl can give the BEST hugs and snuggles.

We were struggling with her sleeping for awhile, but we gave a shot at the pacifier again and she took to it!  Now, when she wakes up in the night, we pop that paci back in her mouth and she goes back to sleep... it's magical!

Both girls LOVE to be outside but Danika is a bit more timid outside.  She hates anything on her hands, so she refuses to touch grass or rocks.  She loves to swing, ride in the wagon, and climb on play equipment.

Johnalyn:

She's tipping the scales at 19 lbs 13 oz, 5% on the 'charts', and is 29 inches tall, 5% on the 'charts'.  Now, if you compare the two girls... Danika is lighter and taller... Johnalyn is shorter and heavier... Match the girl taking after which parent?!? ha.

Favorite words:  "Mama"  "Dada"  Her vocabulary isn't as pronounced as her sister.

She has just recently taken off on the walking, and she is SO proud of herself.  Just in the past week she has gone from standing on her own, to taking two steps, to 10+.  From a parents perspective, it is SO WEIRD seeing her toddle around!  I don't think Danika will be too far behind now that she will see how much more trouble you can get into when you walk!  

Johnalyn likes to get down and dirty... she loves playing in rocks, dirt, grass, etc. She owns the play equipment at the park.  She loves to try to do pull-ups (and to our surprise does really well on trying to pull herself up), she would sit and play with rocks all day if we would let her, and LOVES to go down the slide with daddy.

She LOVES to give kisses... on the cheeks and mouth, even with the *smack* sound.  It's probably one of the most adorable things I have ever seen.

Both girls know where their belly buttons are, but sometimes Dani gets confused and pulls her shirt up and points at her nipple instead.  :-/  We're working on that...

They are also getting really good at matching... we have a wooden puzzle and they are able to match the pictures to the puzzle pieces... their little minds are always going!!

They love to play together but when they fight, they FIGHT!  They hit, pull hair, bite, scream... it's quite the scene... but then we get to see them love eachother by hugs and kisses.  Danika is very in tune to Johnalyn, and sometimes when Johnalyn is crying, Danika will crawl up to her and start patting her butt or back (like what Mom and dad do)...  Johnalyn will sometimes crawl up to Danika and give her forehead a smooch.  I live for these moments and the sweet little interactions these two exchange!

The girls were struggling with ear infections, and they ended up getting tubes in April.  They did SO well, and rocked those little hospital gowns!!

Another big milestone... the girls got their first haircuts!!  I was reluctant to get this done, but they were ripping their ponies out, along with a fist full of hair.. and their hair was constantly in their eyes.  We took them in for a 'bang trim'... and we came out with what donny calls,  "Hockey hair" (or mullet)... neither of us are fans... but as my Mom said, "The only difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is two weeks"... well, we're going on a month, and I'm still saying it's bad!!  *sigh* oh well, it makes a good story.


As the girls are getting older, I feel like I'm becoming more relaxed in some ways and more anxious about other things.  The girls have become good eaters when it comes to solid foods...they will try anything and shake their head no if they don't like or don't want. They love cheddar puffs, guacamole, baked beans, and yogurt. Our pediatrician a year ago was always very 'hard' on us when it came to their ounces intake and it was never enough, so I would be so anxious (and anal) about their eating schedule and counting ounces (it was still never enough).  I got to the point where I would so obsessed about it, I finally cracked.  I couldn't anymore.  I was done worrying about it and finally let them take what they wanted to take.  We are still very much routine based... and I think it will always be that way just to maintain order, and I think that is how is for most families... I have always needed routine, and that is how I can keep, what little I have, my sanity.

We are still having trouble with the girls taking liquid... and I do blame myself for this because I feel because I was always pushing ounces onto them to meet their 'daily goals'...I would never force the bottle into their mouth, but I was constantly pushing them to take more even though they wanted to be done.  I feel that I somehow created a bottle/liquid aversion for them.  I am hoping by relaxing a bit, this will cure itself over time.  They will drink water from a sippy cup, but will spit their milk out and clear across the room.  They will still take milk from their bottle if their tired and/or sleeping... this is how we ensure they are getting proper hydration.  BUT as of today, our NEW pediatrician (who was a breath of fresh air for me!) told me to start transitioning them off of the bottle and formula, put milk in their sippy, and they will drink when they're thirsty... simple but such a complicated mental concept for me!!  For 15 months it's been all about pushing as many calories as possible, any way possible.  Now I'm basically being told "let them figure it out on their own...".... my mind is blown.  I know their both still little peanuts, but I finally have a doctor who is 'okay' with that, and letting them grow at their own pace is okay!  It makes me wonder what our path would have been like if she could have been our pediatrician right at the beginning of our journey (she's new to our clinic).

That brings us up to date for the most part!  We are BUSY, but our little girls are growing, flourishing, and making us laugh like we've never laughed before!

One Year Reflection

It's a bit surreal to me to be laying in my bed with the glow of the video monitor on my night stand listening to the lullaby song playing over and over... and over... when it feels like just a matter of weeks... maybe a month... ago that I was laying in my hospital bed with a completely different surreal feeling, because "it was all over".  I don't know if it's because I'm one of the most sentimental people you'll meet, but I still remember February 12, 2015, down to every hour of that day.  I'd be lying if I didn't say that all day today, I kept looking at the clock and I'd think, "A year ago today at this time... I was down in the library."  "A year ago today at this time... I was downstairs getting a monster cookie." (Side note:  If anyone ever needs to visit Mayo Clinic, the Methodist Cafeteria has the BEST monster cookies... and I swear it wasn't a pregnancy thing!)

The last 10 weeks, I've been replaying scenarios from a year ago as those one year milestones went by.  Sometimes, it was so overwhelming I would get the same feelings I did a year ago... uncertainty, panic, completely emotional.

A year later, here we are.  A WHOLE YEAR!  We made it through NICU, ISCN, CPAP/oxygen machines, brady episodes (when they'd stop breathing), brain scans, EKGs, heart murmurs, gruesome ROP eye tests (TWICE!), tube feeds, major constipation issues, hours upon hours.... and even more hours pumping.  And then we were home... and then we were faced with MORE pumping, sleepless nights of timed feedings every 3 hours around the clock, bottle prepping, bottle washing, bottle sanitizing, breast feeding attempts, diaper changes, million and one loads of laundry, countless vomiting episodes, weekly weight checks, pneumonia (times two), two over-night hospital stays, nebulizer treatments, four rounds of antibiotics, chiropractic appointments to correct their flat heads/getting helmets.... oh... and working full time.

Life hasn't been easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  This past year we have fully invested 100% of ourselves to the girls, but we couldn't have gotten through some of those rough times without our mom's.  For instance:  Danika was taking a bottle one night this summer, I was feeding her, and she threw up...out of her mouth and nose.  She stopped breathing.  Her lips turned blue, and I completely lost it.  My mom was calm as could be, and her and Donny jumped into action.  A couple months later, the girls were battling a horrible, horrible cold.  I took the day off, a Thursday, but Cindy showed up, hind sight, I should have known she was coming because she came every Thursday, but I'm a bit frazzled.  Anyway, Johnalyn was wheezing too much for my comfort and got to the point where she was struggling to catch a breath.  Cindy jumped right in and took care of Danika while I whisked Johnalyn into the doctor.  Some days, things were intense, but the Lord always provided what I needed at that time to get through to the next day.

But all of that put aside, I was able to witness two beautiful little girls grow and learn and do things beyond their expectations throughout the year. Witnessing that first laugh and hearing those first coos makes all the 'stuff' above nothing... absolutely nothing.

The sleepless nights are something I won't miss when they're older, but I have memories that I get to cherish forever because of these sleepless nights.  I got to see Danika roll over for the first time after her 2:30 am feed at 9 weeks... it felt like we were the only two awake in the world, laying on he floor, in her cozy room...tired was the last feeling I had. Johnalyn was up at 1:00 one morning, and while getting her bottle ready, I looked down at her and she had the biggest grin on her face and she reached her finger up to my mouth, just kept it here, and just stared at me until she closed her eyes and fell asleep.  This is my favorite one... the other night Danika was up at 4:00, and I was rocking her in the chair, and I had my eyes closed and then I could hear a whisper "mum, mum, mum, mum".  As exhausted as I am, the ones who are exhausting me are also the ones keeping me going.  

So, I thought I would gather some stats at one year on the girls and share a bit as to where they're at and how their personalities are flourishing!

Danika:
Weight:  17-1/2 pounds
Teeth:  2!  Both on bottom
I Love:  Riding my 3-wheeled giraffe, screaming on the top of my lungs in excitement, pulling my sister's hair, chasing Shadow, baths
My favorite foods are:  Greek yogurt, bread, baked beans, granola/breakfast bars
I can:  Crawl faster than mom can catch me, stand and creep along furniture, crawl up stairs, clap, high five, make 'fish lips', point, play peek-a-boo

Johnalyn:
Weight:  18 pounds
Teeth: 2!  On bottom
I Love:  My xylophone, climbing into my bumbo chair by myself, stealing my sister's toys, pull my sister's hair
My favorite foods are:  Guacamole, bananas, bread, granola/breakfast bars
I can:  Crawl, stand and creep along furniture, almost stand alone, climb in things, crawl up stairs, clap, point, play peek-a-boo

I'm sure I'm missing a few things, but the girls are developmentally almost on track.  There are some things that they are slower, but there is no concern regarding their development... and actually are doing some things at a 16 month level (They can scoot around with their 3-wheeled giraffe).  They are pretty amazing little girls.  They are becoming pretty fluent on the sippy cup, but it's taken us about 10 different cups to find 'the one'!  They LOVE to feed themselves, and they LOVE food.

A year ago, I was watching the tv in my hospital room.  On the TV were my girls.  They were live streaming from their room for me.  I was watching their incredible nurses take care of them. I was watching the girls move ever so slightly... so tiny, so fragile.  My heart was bursting with pride.  I was in a euphoria.  In a sense, that euphoria hasn't worn off because the girls are doing something every day that brings back that feeling.  I love being a mom.  I'm a frazzled, unorganized, tired mom... but I've been trying my best and giving it my all...and here we are a year later.. and i have two girls calling me mum mum!

I'll post pictures later!  It's late... and I know one of the girls will be up very soon... so, I'm signing off to take a nap!

Bigger, stronger, sassier, smarter....

So, I'm going to try to bring everyone up to par on our family's happenings throughout the holidays!  I blogged once since Halloween, but have failed to share the multitude of pictures that I have... I take so many pictures that I am able to go back on my phone and use that to actually remember the 'milestones'!  Here we go!  It's a long one!!

October:  The girls' personalities are flourishing every day.  They are always so full of smiles and giggles as they are starting to become very mobile.  We got to spend an awesome fall Saturday with Uncle Andy and Auntie Laura at Como Zoo.  They packed us an awesome picnic and then we enjoyed looking at some animals.  So much fun... and SO great to get out of the house and the daily routine of things.  I also ventured to Rochester for a day to get some Jojo time in.  On top of watching our girls grow, we are so blessed to be able to have Jojo and Brayden to grow up with them.  Jojo is growing up so fast!

Donny LOVES Halloween, but unfortunately for him, Halloween isn't what it used to be... now we have to little girls to dress up!  It shouldn't be a surprise to many of you that the girls were giraffes for Halloween.  Two cute, little, adorable giraffes.   We only trick-or-treated to two doors this year....Grandma and Grandpa Grunloh, and their neighbors Dave and Diane!  That was enough for mom and dad.  The girls weren't huge fans of their giraffe abilities and preferred their hat to be OFF.

The day after Halloween, we had visitors!  Ian and Tara, good friends of ours, came to visit and we all went out to eat!  It was fun to have four extra hands to hold babies while we drink our beers and enjoyed lunch, and Johnalyn got to try her first lemon (Picture below).  We miss you guys!

The month of November came a lot of changes for us.  Johnalyn quickly figured out how to CLIMB UP STAIRS... and boy did she think she was pretty awesome for figuring that out!!  This was something we weren't expecting quite yet.

Up until this point, Johnalyn was our crawler and crazy one... and Danika was more stationary and docile.  That also changed within a day.  Danika went from 'creeping' and pulling herself around with her right elbow to full out crawling on her hands and knees... to walking across furniture, onto end tables, the wall... She was everywhere!  She, too, thought she was some pretty awesome stuff when she could finally keep up with her constantly moving sister!  Whoofta!

Johnalyn our busy body...

... and Danika right behind her...

November also started our challenge with sleep. Oh, how we miss sleep.  Both girls have decided to get up and cry at least three times in the night.... that's six crying episodes in the night, that sometimes just blended all together in the one big no-sleep marathon.  We have tried, what feels like, everything... and we got to the point that we were so sleep deprived and un-functionable, that we would let one of the girls sleep with us (depending who was worse in the night).  They started fighting colds at this time, and they're also teething, so we didn't quite know if it was a mix of that or if it was actually sleep regression... but I'm pretty convinced it's sleep regression we're dealing with.  More on that later.

Thanksgiving:  We spent the day with Donny's family in Lester Prairie.  It was so much fun seeing Donny's grandparents play with the girls.  This was the first time they were able to see the girls aside from when they were teeny tiny at baptism.  It was so precious watching them interact.  The girls got to sit at the table like big girls and eat their puffies and sweet potatoes.  :-)

The end of November and into December seemed to be their time of 'recognition'.  They really started recognizing their surroundings, their routine, each other, mommy and daddy, Shadow, their hands and what they can be used for.  Donny and I just sat and stared at them in fascination one night as they started to interact with each other... they were clapping together and then they would both break out giggling, Dani would grab Johnalyn's hand, Johnalyn would start crawling-stop-and then look back to see where her 'sissy' was.  They will clench onto eachother's hands (and hair), mimic each other's words.  They figured out how to clap and have become VERY fluent on "mum mum" and "DA DA"... Danika REALLY emphasizes the D on "Da Da"... sometimes she even squeezes her eyes shut when she says D...  I think it'll be hilarious when she figures out how to say her own name.

On December 15th, we thought Johnalyn hit a HUGE milestone.. she got her first tooth!  Now... here's the confusing thing... it was a top tooth....we took a picture of it, we tapped on it, we felt it... it was a tooth!!!  Two days later... it disappeared... ??  It still has yet to make a re-appearance.  She has since actually gotten a tooth on the bottom the first week of the new year.... but we're still scratching our heads about this mystery tooth.  :-)

Christmas:  Oh, I love Christmas!  I don't love how exhausting it is... but I just love the whole Christmas season.  We spent Christmas eve with Donny's family.  On Christmas Day, we were able to spend it at home.  The girls got to open one present (they'd rather just rip the paper anyway), and we had a very laid back day enjoying the girls and just going with the flow.  Later that afternoon, we packed up and headed into Mankato for sushi. Donny and I started this tradition in 2010 and since then have gone out for sushi on Christmas Day every year since, except for last year for obvious reasons.  We were SO excited to re-start this tradition with the girls!  After dinner, we decided to drive through the Mankato Kiwanis Holiday lights.  It was SO pretty, and such a perfect ending to Christmas Day.  The next day, we ventured to Lewiston to spend Christmas with my family!   Again, we had a blast with our tradition of white elephant gift exchange, and instead of drawing names this year, everyone bought supplies for the Ronald McDonald House.  This made my heart SO happy, as I have such a huge spot in my heart for the Ronald McDonald House.  We were able to drop off all the supplies when we headed home, which made it a PERFECT ending to the holiday season!

Grunloh Christmas- Danika and Future- Aunt Liz

Yay! Tie straps!

Johnalyn with Auntie Laura and Uncle Andy

The girls opening their present on Christmas day

My loves. My life.

Benke Christmas-Jojo drinking her 'coffee'

Our two little drooly elves

 As I was sitting on the couch watching the girls play and be silly on New Years Day... My mind slipped back into a year ago... which has been happening VERY often lately.... I get to sit in the same exact spot I was glued to last year writing this blog... now watching my girls be silly, giggly, flourishing little ladies...

God poured out countless blessing onto us in 2015... and the proof?  I get to watch these girls grow, laugh with them, hold their hands, rock them, wipe their tears, and sing to them... all because of His unconditional love.  He didn't 'give up' on us, and I tried my hardest not to give up on my faith... and here we all are... happy (most of the time), healthy, and very sleep deprived.  :-)