Still on this merry-go-round...

Sorry for the lack of updates the last couple of days.  Emotions have been running high, and a blog full of curse words probably wouldn't be the best to read...

After all the go-around with being in labor, being told we'll have babies any time, all the NICU prep, among everything else... the doctors here don't see a need to keep me here in the hospital, so we're being discharged home tomorrow.... again.  This mama is not very happy... being 5 cm dilated, contractions 2-4 minutes apart, high-risk potentials... and I'm being sent home, two hours away from the Level III NICU at 29 weeks pregnant.   First question people are asking me:  Can't you demand to stay?  Nope... not when insurance has the upper hand... If they have no medical reason to keep me, and as my situation hasn't changed for three days, they have no reason to keep me.  They wanted me to stay local (because 'things can happen very fast'), but it's just not feasible for us to live in a hotel for who knows how long.  So, our only option is home.  Frustrating... especially when the last five days we've been filled with so many scary scenarios that could happen... and those scenarios are still very much real but now we're being sent away to deal with this on our own.  

Dr. Larson has been fully aware of what has been going on.  He's not happy, but all he can do is offer his support and expertise.... he has no push or pull when it comes to Mayo's policies or procedures. He's on call this weekend, which gives me a little peace of mind with going home.  If things change at any time over the weekend, I have his number, and he'll be at the hospital in Mankato waiting for me and getting the NICU team from Mayo flown to Mankato (apparently they do that!?!) and to transport me back to Rochester or, if the babies decide to come with no warning, the babies would be transported to Rochester... hopefully we're not in a snow storm?!? 

So, my days have been filled with endless anxiety and trying to come up with a game plan... but you "can't have a game plan since all of this is unpredictable... "

We're ecstatic that we're still pregnant!  Elated!  A week ago we were told we were having babies within hours... Now, we're sitting here wondering if, by the strength of our faith, we COULD make it close to term??  But, in the same breath, the stress and emotions that's coming with all of this is becoming exhausting.  We don't want to meet our babies quite yet, but my patience is really wearing thin some hours, just because we really don't know what the next hours can bring.  

So, in the meantime, I just keep watching the belly get bigger and keep counting our blessings as they come before us.  Like I said in my past blogs... and the plot thickens.... but at least we'll know the ending of this story... we'll have two little girls who are and will be loved sooo much by sooo many people!